T+3wks with covid

all symptoms except for the worst ones have resolved. no cough, runny nose, congestion, sense of smell is rapidly improving day after day. except im still getting worse in other ways:

1. progressively cant think as well or abt as complex things. decision paralysis; its even too difficult sometimes to pick something as trivial as a movie to watch to entertain myself. hyperfocus and extra adderall seems to mitigate some of this but its unreliable. some days i can do simple webdev or sysadmin stuff for personals, and others i cant even respond to or look at the messages from the people who are messaging me out of concern and love, instead idly distracting myself with browsing neocities sites or archiving/organizing data

2. feeling fatigued and getting winded more rapidly with less exertion. cant walk for more than a few steps without needing to sit back down usually, or feel short of breath. if i do want to walk longer distances i have to do so extremely slowly like im 80 years old. have been lying in bed in the late afternoon and into the evening just listening to music and staring at the ceiling (though this might be related to xanax and LDN re-introduction, since that's essentially adding both GABA and mu opioid agonism all at once)

3. mental health declining with alarming pace to reveal horrific depression and anxiety, which previously hadnt been present to any impairing degree for a couple years. went to the beach the other day thinking itd calm me down but i felt nothing, anhedonic, and ended up crying over it. saw my therapist over the weekend and none of the reasonable and mindful things she said helped

saw my PCP yesterday:
- she said the same thing others did wrt treatments. i begged her for even a referral, or any information abt experimental treatments and she refused.
- she wrote a letter for medical leave for 2 weeks from work that i can use to justify SDI
- said that even though its not uncommon for covid delta to last 4-6 weeks, the odds of persistent CFS/Long COVID were 1%.

i dont know where she got that number cause it clashes with what ive read here, but imma latch onto it and delude myself cause.. that anxiety over getting CFS is a large part of whats fueling the anxiety and depression. ????